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BREAKING NEWS Terrorist Attack Targeting Rehabilitation Center: 0 Killed 1 Injured
Late last night notorious terrorist group "The Creepers" conducted another coordinated attack against the builders, this time in an effort to sabotage the efforts of authorities to create "The Mob Grinder," a massive security complex meant to house criminals and rehabilitate them into useful items [of society]. The attack was primarily centered around the storage area just outside the construction site, which authorities say was filled with food and clothes for the poor.
"It's a real darn shame what they did"
One survivor tells their story [Edited for enhanced accuracy]:
"Yeah so I was comin down the ladder, minding my own business. I was done for the day and headed straight ta bed when I heard a tssss of a' creepa. Ah turned round and saw [fifteen] of 'em." First one blew up tha chest with the [food and clothes to the poor], and the second one destroyed the [items on the ground]. [Then the other thirteen creepers detonated bombs around small kittens and puppies]. [I was in fear for my life.] Thankfully, [the authorities were able to defeat The Creeper Menace, and replace everything that was lost with their superiour infrastructure.]"
Be sure to lock your doors, folks!
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